Never in a million years…
Did I think we’d be living in the middle of the Northwest Territories, on a beautiful lake, with our 5 children.
I really can’t explain it other than an inexplicable peace from God.
Josh and I met in 2007. We didn’t chat back then. He was on staff at camp and I was a camper. I was a nervous Nelly around the ‘intimidating’ staff so I just steered clear of them, unless it was in the boat learning to wakeboard or in general camp activities. I do have one clear memory of him teaching me how to ride goofy and barefoot ski off the boom. Those both entailed a lot of face plants.
The next year we were both on staff and things took off. We spent a lot of time in the boat teaching kids to wakeboard and chatting in between sets. I was 16 and brimming with passion to go change the world. At the time, I felt no one took me seriously and they brushed me off as an out-of-touch-with-reality-teen. But Josh listened. Anyone who knows him well, knows how good he is at asking the right questions and those days on the boats the conversation just flowed - he encouraged me when I needed encouraged and challenged my ideas when they needed challenged. And I can remember clear as day the moment I knew he was something special. I asked what I thought was a standard question to ask a guy when you are getting to know him - what is your greatest fear?
He looked at me dead serious and said, “God.”
That shut me up real quick and changed everything. It was a perspective shift I needed and it was instantly calming for my anxious self. And I can confidently say that one answer he had on the boat back in 2008 has been the driving force of our whole marriage.
We were reflecting on our marriage recently and how things all started. I commented to Josh that the command to ‘fear God’ is what gives me the most peace in my life, but how it can also sound daunting or make God out to be terrifying. But the fear we have of God is a reverence for Him. I know He created me, I know He knows what’s best for me, I know He gave me free will and has given me Christ as an example and the Holy Spirit as my helper. I know God loves me beyond anything I can imagine with my finite mind. So to fear Him means knowing He is just and all-knowing and I want to do His will because He knows infinitely more than I ever will and I want to trust Him. It means when I come to a decision and I don’t know what to do, I can ask myself, “if I was standing right in front of God and was asked this question, what would my answer be?” Would it be my first instinct? The easy option? The people-pleasing option? The less offensive option? Or would it be the one I am fairly certain God would want me to choose?
When I stand before God and account for all my choices - will He be pleased with me?
I know I will make mistakes, and I have made plenty so far, but I also know God loves me and He is with me everyday as I pray, serve faithfully, sin, repent…and start all over again.
So here we are, fast forward 17 years and we are living in Whati with our five children. Did I ever see this coming? Absolutely not. Am I thrilled we are here, yes. Are there hard days, absolutely. But do I trust God, yes. We are big fans of C.S. Lewis in our house (one of our children is named after him) and I love this quote from him,
There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, “Thy will be done,” and those to whom God says, in the end, “Thy will be done.”
I always wanted to live an adventurous life but I didn’t know what it would look like. I can confidently say the greatest adventure of my life has been saying yes to God every step of the way.
Rebecca